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the girl

Too blank for words. Except these words, that is.


Life in general.


Life in general.

last five

- - 2017-06-08
- - 2017-06-09
Random note from 4/26 - 2017-06-06
- - 2017-06-04
day 1 again - 2017-04-11


7:22 p.m. on 2017-06-09

I am a little depressed. I have the "just started climbing up the huge mountain that is weight loss" blues and I alternate between researching caloric content of food to determine what is worth eating and what I can eat more of....calorie dense foods are the enemy. The only time they are allowed is in tiny half cup servings surrounded by low calori3 high nutrient foods. Its hard not to be bitter.

I decided that simple and clean sushi will be my treat food tonight. We all have certain times of The day or week that we need a treat so lower calorie options were needed to fill this void. The jury is out on how many calories are actually in this sushi but its gotta be better than the 1000 calories in a value meal.

I did have a minor victory today. I started eating a bag of candy and was almost through it before i could stop myself. That got me down so fast that I almost gave up on my good food for the day. I somehow talked my self out of the baconator I know deep down that I deserve!! And when I put in the calories for the candy it only came out to 220, not the 600 I expected. Lesson to self: eating an unwanted extra 200 calories is the opposite of a good reason to eat a 1000 calorie garbage bomb that is a fast food value meal.

I'm finally getting a feel for how much i can eat with no "big" work out like a bike ride or hike. I'm trying to take away outside stressors and nail down my routine so I always have time for a morning work out and a separate "big" workout. I am almost to a point that I can zone out and be Zen in my self care routine and stop obsessing over food and workouts. I know what to do I just needed a big reminder.

your rainbow