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the girl

Too blank for words. Except these words, that is.


Life in general.


Life in general.

last five

- - 2017-06-08
- - 2017-06-09
Random note from 4/26 - 2017-06-06
- - 2017-06-04
day 1 again - 2017-04-11

Random note from 4/26

2:01 p.m. on 2017-06-06

My biggest problem whenever I first get really motivated and working out and eating healthy comma is that it takes away a lot of mine body shame I see myself mentally as way more advanced than I am and often a good hard look at the corner of my eye in the mirror shutters vac illusion and can throw me off track completely If nothing else it's a downer it makes it hard to keep caring for my body when I first have a good streak of days it becomes effortless to care for my body almost as if I'm caring for somebody else , as in not short-changing myself and just treating myself with a mild reverence and that healthy dose of reality without the rosy colored glasses a serotonin overdose it's frustrating and makes me want to give up even though I believe my higher mind sees the future and the person I need to be for the future I want.

I had a good week. I was tentatively optimistic but because that habit was fragile I let it break with no plan B. Getting in track again before too much time has passed is gonna require a lot of willpower that I'm afraid it doesn't have. Having th2 desire to attempt to buy happiness in the form of bike shorts and straw mouth prices but until I get back on track I'm scared to give myself that sense of satisfaction

your rainbow